Exploring Identity and Self-Perception in Model/Actriz’s “Pirouette”
Reflections on Reality
In E.M. Forster’s poignant coming-of-age novel Maurice, the protagonist, Maurice, experiences a moment of existential awareness as he strolls through his college campus at night. Peering into the illuminated dorm rooms, he realizes that his peers are multifaceted beings with their own thoughts and feelings. He laments, “not such an inside as mine,” signifying a profound sense of isolation. This theme of self-awareness and multiplicity echoes in the closing track “Baton” from Model/Actriz’s second album, Pirouette. Here, lead singer Cole Haden converses with his sister and grapples with the realization that she holds memories of him that he does not share, leading him to conclude that there are numerous interpretations of himself—each one divergent from the last.
From Raw Emotion to Self-Examination
As a follow-up to their critically acclaimed debut, Pirouette stands out for its candid exploration of self-perception. The Brooklyn-based quartet’s 2023 album, Dogsbody, burst forth with visceral energy, combining themes of queer abjection with powerful soundscapes. However, Pirouette marks a notable shift in tone and texture, delving deeper into the complexities of identity and the desire for recognition. The music has transformed from chaotic exuberance to a more measured, icy sound reminiscent of influences like Crystal Castles and Circus-era Britney Spears. While the band has retained an edge, the presentation is now polished and deliberate.
Confronting Internalized Rejection
Beyond its sonic evolution, Pirouette delves into the depths of Haden’s past, revealing early experiences of self-censure. In the track “Cinderella,” he recalls a childhood moment when he hesitated to ask for a Cinderella-themed birthday party, recognizing even then the dangers associated with expressing his queerness. “And when the moment came and I changed my mind/I was quiet, alone, and devastated,” he sings, encapsulating the lingering sting of internalized rejection that permeates his adult relationships. The distinction between being openly queer and fully embracing one’s identity in intimate settings becomes a central theme in the album.
Chasing Self Through a Mirror Maze
Throughout the album, Haden navigates a metaphorical mirror maze, confronting his reflections in search of authenticity. In “Departures,” he invokes a personal pantheon in a plea for embodiment, striving to become real rather than merely a shadow. The track “Diva” captures the complexities of seeking connection within the vibrant nightlife of European clubs, as he grapples with logistical barriers that symbolize deeper emotional voids. Haden’s biting lyrics culminate in a remarkable couplet: “You could call me a small business owner/Living in America, while trapped in the body of an operatic diva.” This line underscores the tension between artistic integrity and commercial demands, highlighting the harrowing compromises artists must navigate in their pursuit of authenticity.
Conclusion
Pirouette presents a profound exploration of identity, self-perception, and the quest for intimacy. Through its introspective lyrics and evolving sound, Model/Actriz invites listeners to reflect on their own multiplicities and the often tumultuous journey toward self-acceptance. The album serves as a reminder that the paths we traverse in search of connection can be fraught with challenges, yet they are also rich with potential for growth and understanding.
FAQs
What themes are explored in Model/Actriz’s album Pirouette?
The album delves into themes of identity, self-perception, intimacy, and the complexities of being queer in contemporary society.
How does Pirouette differ from Model/Actriz’s previous album, Dogsbody?
While Dogsbody is characterized by raw, energetic soundscapes, Pirouette shifts towards a more introspective and polished style, focusing on self-exploration and emotional nuance.
What is the significance of Haden’s lyrics in the album?
Haden’s lyrics reflect his personal experiences and struggles with self-acceptance, capturing the tension between societal expectations and his desire for authenticity.
What musical influences are present in Pirouette?
The album draws influences from various artists, blending elements reminiscent of Crystal Castles and early pop influences, creating a unique sound that complements its themes.